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Postpartum depression and anxiety

I have struggled if I should post this. It's kind of a private issue but I keep feeling convicted that I need to. So, I will share LOL

After having Mason, I was hit with postpartum depression. It grew worse as each week passed. It was combined with severe undirected anxiety. Literally I would be thrown into an anxiety attack for exposure to well.. nothing. A magazine cover, flowers, cereal... it didn't matter what - there was no rhyme or reason, and it never seemed to be sparked by the same thing more than once.

Finally I figured out that I was not going to get better on my own. I went to my doctor and talked (and cried) a lot. The test I took ended up scoring me higher for anxiety and depression than my doctor had ever seen! So I was given Effexor XR to help with both issues.

It took 8 weeks to finally start to properly work (initially it actually made it all WORSE. MUCH WORSE. Especially the anxiety). But I prayed a lot and continually felt convicted to see it through.

Praise the Lord he convicted me! He answered my prayers as effexor worked gloriously. I was back to myself again!! I have taken the medication ever since (I guess about a year and a half now).

Fast forward: While effexor is a great medication for my issues, it has one major problem. Effexor doesn't have a generic substitute here in the states so it is PRICEY!! We don't have prescription coverage and it is just outside of our normal budget.

I went off of it about 4 months ago since we were out of money. Whoa! That was horrid! The withdrawl effects from Effexor are horrific! So bad in fact, we usurped bills to get me more. I hated the feeling of dependency and felt tied to the medication. I felt like a drug addict. Re-intruducing the effexor back once you start having withdrawls returned me to normal by the end of the day which only strengthen my unhappiness. "This is exactly what an addit goes through: I thought to myself. So, I turned to prayer. Lots and lots of prayers.

I was still on the medication but we were out of money due to slowness at dear hubby's work and I was watching those medicine packets slowly running out. I was dreading the day I ran out! I knew it was coming again and there was nothing we could do about it.


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